Saturday, March 21

Charlie Clempson Fan Club: Found A Rant


So my Mum brought over some old papers and junk that I forgot at hers before I had left. Amongst the papers, mostly old bills and unopened letters, I found something I had written about Charlie Clempson and I, I thought that I would post it.

This fast part is mental, and testament to how much of a geek I was (am?), I really get upset about receiving a Batman comic instead of a something from the Marvel stable... this took up a page of erratic and totally not self-aware ranting. 

Anyway, in attempt to exercise a few demons... here is the first part of the 'Found Rant'


I keep finding artifacts from our relationship, little things that are undeniably 'her'! Pictures, notes emails, presents that I never liked.

The last trinket was a Batman comic, fuck knows why! Why I had kept it or why she bought it for me. Part of me hopes I'd bought her equally unwanted gifts, gifts which smacked of laziness and ignorance.

A fucking Batman comic?! I'm a Marvel man! Give me Spide-Man (with or without a hyphen), give me The Ultimates or Supreme Powers, not Batman! Why Batman?
I'd go as far as to say that the difference between a Dark Knight fan and a Spidey fan is as wide as the gulf between a Irish Catholic and an Protestant. No difference really, yet it still seems acceptable to hate each other.

If she'd known me she would have known that I wouldn't appreciate that sort of shit. And she would have definitely known that I wouldn't have like her writing on every other page: "You Amaze me..." this and "I luv you" that!

Stuff that didn't just geel gag-worthy in retrospect, I distinctly remember masaging [the tension out of the] back of mine own neck whilst forcing a smile and faking gratitude.

She couldn't even write LOVE... L - O -V - E, love and not the cop out LUV.
There's only one way to spell it and contrary to most women's belief, there is only one way to do it.

Completely.

Mutually.

Lovingly. [Um, can't use the word lovingly in as an adverb to describe love]
And there's more... woah! I didn't realize that I was so very, very, very maladjusted. Part two tomorrow.

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