Thursday, September 25

Forwarded Email: Virgin Girl

I try not to forward emails to people, and when I do I at least try to clean them up so that they're not a mess of email addresses and triangle brackets. Shame no one else takes the time to do this when sending me, what is mostly junk. Once in a while an email comes along that makes me smile though, and once in a while I have so little else to contribute to this blog that I copy and paste a (mediocre) email joke into my blog... this is one of those times.

For all Employees Who Work With Rude Customers

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'.

The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.'

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.'

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F**k you!'

Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit)......

'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.

Sunday, September 21

War&Taxes



I saw this video on www.videogum.com and couldn't resist, I had to post it.

Fuck! This guy is different... and amazing, for all the wrong reasons! Fuck!

Sunday, September 7

Are You Missing Japan? No... I'm taking a stroll



"Are you missing Japan?"

No, I'm spending time laying around in parks. And it's a wonderful past time.

Apart from my mirth filled visit to Holland Park I've spent time lounging about in front of Buckingham Palace whilst watching Liz chase squirrels with her camera and then fail to take a picture when the squirrel literally stands a meter from her nose and watches her for 30 seconds. I listened to Samba, Jazz and Funk Fusion then watched demonstrations of body-popping, Judo and Bushido in Shoreditch Park. I watched the colour of the sky change over the London skyline from the vantage of Primrose Hill. And, I walked the dense wooded areas of Hampstead Heath and found myself in long grasses, again looking at the London skyline (and The Red Arrows flying through the sky) from what I think was Parliment Hill.

Britain, even in a sprawling Megapolis like London, lends itself very well to an aimless wander through idyllic fields to find the shelter of an oak or willow. You don't need an tarpaulin, it doesn't have to be April, sunshine alone is enough of an excuse, yet add in music, alcohol and food and you have a little party... everyone is invited.

And when my longing for Japan does become so great that I'm almost ready to jump on a plane (or flying pig) and head back then perhaps a moment in Holland Parks Kyoto Garden will fill me with enough zen spirit of the four seasons to sate my appetite.

And whilst I know that I could be doing far more productive things, like finding a job, procrastinating in this way seems just as worthwhile... food for the soul if you will.

Wednesday, September 3

Ireland from my cameraphone

This is how Guinness makes you feel.
This is a Guinness kettle, I think. Yes! I was paying attention.


Here's a boastful vat, to which I say " I drink your Guinness" in a very murderous Daniel Day Lewis way.

Raw, heat, smells!

The black stuff!

The view from the floor outside the Guinness storehouse.


Paul and Paul.

Marion and James.

Vend-a-scent.

Bray, here is the walk, from here to that point up on that there hill.

Here, on 'that there hill' , just a few minutes later... all it took was a hop, skip and a jump.

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