Saturday, March 28

How do you use the internet?

I use the internet to tweet.

I use the internet the internet to share.

I use the internet to remember.

I use the internet to watch.

What do you use the internet for?

Monday, March 23

Charlie Clempson Fan Club: Found A Rant part II

OK, so let the insanity continue, here is the second part of the 'Found Rant' about Charlie Clempson and how I felt about the whole affair. And if part one was bad, then this is far far worse. I have to say that the Stephen of 2009 isn't to impressed with the Stephen of 2003... he was dick.

Seems obvious, you can't be in love if she or he don't love you back. You can't love someone in a half hearted matter, it takes a whole heart, and you can't love someone without showing it.

So when I was sitting with a piece of paper in my hands, with a neat two column list of all the things which made me a shit boyfriend, and she was telling me athat she 'still' loved me but loved herslef more and couldn'y change me so couldn't be with me, a voice screamed in me "LIAR, COWARD" A voice screamed at her and I felt a swell of emotion, more emotion than any person should feel at once.

I pitied her, the coward, the liar. I pitied me, the accused , the unjustly treated. I hated her, every word on that page, in two neat columns all that care and thought put into hurting me! I hated me, so much of that list was true, if it was only true of a moment of our time together it was true enough.

No one's perfect, no one. Sometimes I could be 1. Inconsiderate... but so could she. I remember this one I was crying, tears weren't flooding down my cheeks but I was weeping as much as a healthy VD free boy can. And I was opening up to her about how my Dad was more interested in work and his other families than me and how [NAME OMITTED] had [OMITTED TEXT], which had huge ramifications on on all future relationships.

It wasn't hard to open up, I was drinking and I was in love. I was so in love that I ignore d the fact that she hadn't even tried to console me before launching into her [ORIGINAL TEXT ABOUT HER OWN SKELETONS & DEMONS OMITTED].

I ended up feeling no better, and [in fact] a whole lot worse. I was racked with guilt for even thinking I had things bad, felt guilty about haveing raw feelings, she made me feel guilty for someone other than her [???].

That to me is fucking inconsiderate! I could also recall a moment when I was 12. Overbearing. But I had asked her if I was being a pain, admittedly after acting absolutely useless without her, but she had made out like I was not a burden and she actually enjoyed using me like a 'project'.

I know I enjoyed it, being cared after, having someone to rely on. Truth is I could have done with seeing her less during that period but it was so satisfying, being able to moan about work and get another persons perspective. Truth was she was a distraction, work had become to intensive and she took the edge off, which lead me to act 13. needy and become 14. smothering.

I personally think that there's no need for 13 or 14 after 12 but I guess for a girl who spells love in more than one way...
And that is where that little rant ended... oh and if you were wondering, how many points were on the two columned list then the answer is 'a lot more than 14' that list was extensive and not only well presented but mostly (honestly) correct.

Saturday, March 21

Charlie Clempson Fan Club: Found A Rant

So my Mum brought over some old papers and junk that I forgot at hers before I had left. Amongst the papers, mostly old bills and unopened letters, I found something I had written about Charlie Clempson and I, I thought that I would post it.

This fast part is mental, and testament to how much of a geek I was (am?), I really get upset about receiving a Batman comic instead of a something from the Marvel stable... this took up a page of erratic and totally not self-aware ranting. 

Anyway, in attempt to exercise a few demons... here is the first part of the 'Found Rant'

I keep finding artifacts from our relationship, little things that are undeniably 'her'! Pictures, notes emails, presents that I never liked.

The last trinket was a Batman comic, fuck knows why! Why I had kept it or why she bought it for me. Part of me hopes I'd bought her equally unwanted gifts, gifts which smacked of laziness and ignorance.

A fucking Batman comic?! I'm a Marvel man! Give me Spide-Man (with or without a hyphen), give me The Ultimates or Supreme Powers, not Batman! Why Batman?
I'd go as far as to say that the difference between a Dark Knight fan and a Spidey fan is as wide as the gulf between a Irish Catholic and an Protestant. No difference really, yet it still seems acceptable to hate each other.

If she'd known me she would have known that I wouldn't appreciate that sort of shit. And she would have definitely known that I wouldn't have like her writing on every other page: "You Amaze me..." this and "I luv you" that!

Stuff that didn't just geel gag-worthy in retrospect, I distinctly remember masaging [the tension out of the] back of mine own neck whilst forcing a smile and faking gratitude.

She couldn't even write LOVE... L - O -V - E, love and not the cop out LUV.
There's only one way to spell it and contrary to most women's belief, there is only one way to do it.



Lovingly. [Um, can't use the word lovingly in as an adverb to describe love]
And there's more... woah! I didn't realize that I was so very, very, very maladjusted. Part two tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 18

Love Craig's List

You called me a "F*cking pervert" remember?? - 45
Reply to:
Date: 2004-12-01, 11:26AM GMT/BST

I caught your dress in my umbrella- Do you remember?

It was last Thursday morning walking across London Bridge . It was a bit of a drizzle around and I started to put up my umbrella. Its one of the great big ones that are used as golf tournament. I have it because then folk will think I'm a golf pro. Anyway it is so big that I didn't notice that I'd caught your dress in it..
I was the guy behind you trying to catch you up but you were walking
quite quickly .
I guess that you know it was me running after you but maybe you were
late for work?.

We had sort of met on the train coming into London that day. I was behind you in that very crowded train and we were all pressed together. Unfortunately the umbrella may have made contact you – You had your back to me and with the crush of people the handle of the umbrella seems to disappear into the folds of your skirt. It was when I was retrieving it that you noticed me.
I smiled as best I could as you called me a "FucKing pervert!" – But I thought that was not the best time to ask for your phone number.
You did manage to get a seat later on in that train journey and I was lucky enough to be in the train corridor right beside you. It must have been fate I think. Do you believe in fate? You looked a bit concerned as I managed to stand above you but you closed your eyes.
Presumably thinking about what a wonderful journey you had had – Apart from the golf umbrella up your skirt which as I explained above was unfortunate.

My pen top was not supposed to fall off whilst I did the crossword. It went down the front of your dress and as you had your eyes closed I thought I could retrieve it with out disturbing you.
The thing was just lodged between your breasts and I nearly got hold of it with my finger tips when you work up. It was a bit embarrassing to be called a "F*cking Pervert!" for the second time that day. Ah well path of true love etc..

Fancy a coffee……………

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